The first

I was 35 when my partner said:

…there are several ways you can resolve our current disagreement in our relationship. But if you don't solve it and procrastinate, you'll get it back. Everything is a teaching. You have to close a situation, a problem, because it will come back to you again and again. And this is true even if you escape the relationship. If you have to deal with it, but you still leave, it will pay off in your new relationship with a new person. Until you resolve it in yourself, in your own life….

I thought about what he said, but I didn't believe him. In other words, I rather pushed this thought away from me. It didn't feel good to think about that.

Maybe also because I was a person who didn't like to be controlled. I was someone who liked to plan everything in advance and keep it under control. To imagine that I was dependent on external forces, that someone or something "influenced" me, well, that was not digestible.

Today, more than 10 years after what happened, I know that the Universe is watching. The Celestials move the threads so that everything is a teaching and a mirror. Until I learn my lesson, I cannot permanently move on. Yes, it hurt at first. To admit that I am a small point in the universe. I may have a free choice, but if I don't go in the long-term direction that is my task... well, then they will guide me back. First there are minor warnings (e.g. hand/foot injuries) and then more serious ones. When you can no longer physically do what you used to do. Sitting work was like that for me. For a long time, I comfortably performed my task for 8 hours a day, I was able to do it well, and I was able to work. Then when the time came, they "raised me from the chair". I was assigned a different task. I quit my comfortable office job because it was already physically taxing to sit for 8 hours a day. My neck and back hurt, and even regular exercise couldn't compensate for this.

I know that these words "recall", "warn" sound a little strange at first to the rational mind. Who are driving you back? Where are they? Why? I immediately wanted to understand the workings of the entire Universe. Know who can control. I was full of reasons.

I know I'm on the right path (or not) by paying more attention to it.

That I started to pay more attention to what my soul wants. What goes wrong, what cheers you up. And decide based on that.

How does this work in everyday life?

First I had to learn to slow down.

I started taking breaks between everyday activities. I planned the weekends and free days to include "doing nothing". Allowing myself not to let my compulsive actions define my day. It was strange for weeks, even months. To switch over and insert minutes and hours when I am not doing something "useful". I don't tidy up. I don't prepare for anything. I don't make up for long-postponed things. I simply observe my surroundings. Many of us have been programmed to put work first. Okay, but what if there's always work? That is, there is always something to do.

To stop for a bit in the chaos, raising children, cleaning and rather observe the space in which I am. I admit it was difficult at the beginning. It was unusual to go out into the street to a square or the Danube bank and just listen to the noises, to be quiet and idle. It's not comfortable.

Compulsive action is dangerous.

It revs up. It does not let the mind rest.

It does not allow the sound of the heart...